What do you do when you realize the person who you love doesn’t make you happy anymore? When the person who once was your peace, is now a stranger? When you once planned your future around being with someone, but you go days without speaking?
When is it time to let go?
I can admit, I struggle with letting a relationship go. I obsess over the good times & the what ifs. Even when it comes to friends, I go back & forth trying to decide if I really should end the relationship. Unfortunately, I believe that I become so fixated on a person’s potential that I actually ignore what they've shown me.
That fixation eventually leads to expectations. Whether that person knows it or not.
I expected them to text me good morning.
I expected them to call.
I expected them to tell me they love me.
I expected them to reach out.
& more often than not, I am let down.
So who is really at fault? Is it me for forcing myself to try to see the good in people, even if that good is something I made up? Even if I’m testing them without letting them know?
In the past, I have been in situationships where I expected the guy I was dealing with to act like he was in a relationship with me. Although I knew it was just a situationship.
I would get so hurt seeing them brag about how they were single—even though they were.
I would get so mad seeing them flirt with other women—even though they were single.
I would expect them to treat me as their girlfriend, because I treated them as my boyfriend—although they weren’t.
I would expect them to do all these things, even though the standard was laid out in the beginning & I agreed to it. In the end, the only person I could blame was myself.
Recently I experienced a situation where I cried to my best friend & repeatedly told her, “I wouldn’t do that to them, so I don’t understand why they would do it to me.” I think I told her this about five times before she asked me why.
Why are my expectations so high for a person who has shown me not to expect anything from them? Their words never matched their actions and their actions showed me they didn’t care. So why was I expecting someone to treat me how I treated them, when I was showing them they could treat me any type of way & still receive love from me.
I didn’t have an answer.
I have a hard time letting go.
& I blame my expectations.