expectations.

What do you do when you realize the person who you love doesn’t make you happy anymore?  When the person who once was your peace, is now a stranger?  When you once planned your future around being with someone, but you go days without speaking?

When is it time to let go?

I can admit, I struggle with letting a relationship go.  I obsess over the good times & the what ifs.  Even when it comes to friends, I go back & forth trying to decide if I really should end the relationship.  Unfortunately, I believe that I become so fixated on a person’s potential that I actually ignore what they've shown me.

That fixation eventually leads to expectations.  Whether that person knows it or not.

I expected them to text me good morning.

I expected them to call.

I expected them to tell me they love me.

I expected them to reach out.

& more often than not, I am let down.

So who is really at fault?  Is it me for forcing myself to try to see the good in people, even if that good is something I made up? Even if I’m testing them without letting them know?

In the past, I have been in situationships where I expected the guy I was dealing with to act like he was in a relationship with me.  Although I knew it was just a situationship.

I would get so hurt seeing them brag about how they were single—even though they were.

I would get so mad seeing them flirt with other women—even though they were single.

I would expect them to treat me as their girlfriend, because I treated them as my boyfriend—although they weren’t.

I would expect them to do all these things, even though the standard was laid out in the beginning & I agreed to it.  In the end, the only person I could blame was myself. 

Recently I experienced a situation where I cried to my best friend & repeatedly told her, “I wouldn’t do that to them, so I don’t understand why they would do it to me.”  I think I told her this about five times before she asked me why

Why are my expectations so high for a person who has shown me not to expect anything from them?  Their words never matched their actions and their actions showed me they didn’t care.  So why was I expecting someone to treat me how I treated them, when I was showing them they could treat me any type of way & still receive love from me.

I didn’t have an answer.

I have a hard time letting go. 

& I blame my expectations.

Brittani GainesComment